A Dream Interlude: Something Wicked. . .

My parents, my siblings, and my fiance tell me that I talk a lot in my sleep. I go from mumbling to yelling to cursing.  However those dreams always elude me. I never seem to remember any of them! But I do wake up absolutely exhausted! It drives me crazy. Now, here is a kicker, within the past month I have had to very vivid dreams and both deal with the supernatural.

In my first dream, I am in a house. It’s a beautiful Victorian home. There is a psychic in my dream, one whom I have seen but never met before. She is telling me over and over, that I must accept my gift, I need to accept my gift. I keep shaking my head telling her it is not the time. When all of a sudden some kind of invisible force grabs me and starts to pull/drag me around the home. While this is happening I am screaming that this is whyI refused to accept my gift. I am full of fear. But as I am yelling this, she is telling me that in order to be free I must accept. I am not sure what happens after, I jump awake.

The second dream was this past weekend. The setting appeared to be a large area. A home was situated in front of me.  It looked like a doll house, built but the front was missing, so you could see all the rooms. It looked new. There is a couple in front of me talking to about four other people.  From what I remember of the dream, their conversation went as follows,

“So you are rebuilding? That fire must have been awful”, said a man to the couple’s left. The wife replied that yes, the fire was awful, however she had hoped that the spirits within the home had been cleansed since the bones of the home are now gone. The husband scoffs and says, I don’t think it was the house that was haunted, I think it is the land. I didn’t want to rebuild, I wanted to move, but we inherited this land and so we had no choice.

The scene changes, we are now in the home. The way we are sitting kind of reminds me of the mad hatter’s tea party. I am sitting in a comfy high back chair and the feeling of anxiousness fills me. Once again, the psychic the couple had contracted,  looks over at me and asks me if I can lend them my gift. The anxiety I feel increases and I say I can’t  because I don’t accept my gift. They tell me I must accept. Once again, my chair is is grabbed and the entire thing is  flown backwards into the wall. Something is holding me there and once again, I am screaming that this is why I don’t want to accept my gift. I snap my eyes open and the dream is gone, but the anxiety is left.

Both times, these dreams woke me up in the middle of the night and it took me a good chunk of time to fall back to sleep. I prayed to Saint Michael to remove any negative energy and to allow me to sleep peacefully over and over again, I felt that something was watching me and just waiting.

But my biggest concern, is what exactly do these dreams mean?? Does anyone out there have an idea? and Have you had any dreams that were similar and you are not sure what they mean?

Ta Ta For Now,
Sorceress Nyx

Living with a demon: Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis

So, I was officially diagnosed with Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis within the last year. If you don’t know what that is, here is the easiest way I can explain it. I have an auto-immune disease in which my body attacks my thyroid. The result of this is an increase in thyroid antibodies and a result of that I now suffer from hypothyroidism. I am now at that sweet spot with my medicine that my levels are amazing. But my hormones are still a little wacky.

Oh yeah, not many people are aware that your thyroid is a hormone and when it is off, it throws everything else off. L ike for example my estrogen levels and the unfortunate slowing down of my metabolism. My body is still working to level out my hormones and since I found the perfect balance of medicine and diet. I am slowly but surely getting there.

This past year has been a process of pain, but understanding and relief. Since my 2nd year of college I have felt “off” and now that we know what is wrong and I am treating it, an in doing so, I am starting to feel like my old self. The mood swings are still annoying. I just seem to get so angry for a stupid reasons. I am not that person. It is very frustrating and I always feel guilt when I snap!

I think the worse thing for me at least, is dealing with this horrid anxiety. I never really had it. I mean don’t get me wrong, I would get nervous, but I never had a crippling fear of new things.  I used to run into them cautiously head first. But now just thinking of meeting a new person, sends me into a wave of panic, and overthinking. I am getting better at shutting it down, getting out of my head. But it still lingers, that doubt, the unease, the fear of being socially inept. Especially, when I used to be the person everyone came to talk to and hang out with. It’s an awful feeling and I am just crawling into my imagination and trying to live in this made up world where everything is rainbows, unicorns, and dragons. That world, instead of living the reality, the problems, the emotionally roller coaster, the fear.

I created this blog as an outlet of sorts. A place to talk about my fears, hopes and dreams, a place to vent it out. A place to write about this world, I so pretend to live in.

If anyone really reads this, know that I am just one person in a world of billions, trying to make my fairy-tale world a reality through self care, love, some creative writing thrown in and a little bit of Magick.

Here’s to discovering the sorceress within and gaining insight to all my wonderful gifts and powers 😀

Warmest Wishes,
Sorceress Nyx